By Tomorrow, I release a book.
A poetry book.
No one is more surprised than me.
For most of my life, the idea of me publishing poetry was about as likely as the Sears Demon™ winning a Pulitzer. I sat through two semesters of poetry workshops in college, where the general consensus seemed to be: maybe stick to prose? While no one outright said I was bad at poetry, the subtext of every critique was clear enough.
It’s funny—when I wrote You’re Doing It Wrong, I summed up my college experience as COLLEGE IS BULLSHIT. And yet, here I am, dropping a poetry collection. Life’s weird.
It all started as a joke.
I began writing absurd little haikus for my job’s social media, just for fun. Then, I thought: Wouldn’t it be hilarious if I made an entire book of these? The idea floated in and out of my mind for a couple of years. Eventually, I got bored of haikus and started writing full-length, completely unhinged poems—leaning into themes of nostalgia, existential dread, and, of course, the cursed energy of shopping malls. The more I wrote, the more I realized how much I loved it.
I still didn’t think much would come of it. But then, a nagging thought hit me: Why not?
So, I did it.
And now, The Lamenting Mallrats Society is about to be unleashed upon the world.
This book is a time capsule of chaotic mall culture, corporate despair, and the ghosts (literal and metaphorical) that haunt our favorite consumerist spaces. Some poems are bizarre fever dreams. Others are sharp, emotional gut punches. A few are both.
For example:
“The escalator whispers secrets to those who listen.
I was not prepared.”
Or:
“Somewhere, the food court still smells like fries,
even though the fries are long gone.
Ghosts get hungry too.”
This book is strange. It is weirdly personal. It is, in a lot of ways, a culmination of everything I love about storytelling.
I’ve published before, but this one feels different. Maybe it’s the beginning of a new era. Maybe it’s just another chaotic project in a long line of chaotic projects. Either way, I’m excited to see what happens next.
So, if you’ve ever wandered an abandoned department store and wondered what memories still linger in the dust—this book might be for you.
The Lamenting Mallrats Society drops tomorrow. The ebook is available for preorder now, and the paperback will be up on release day. Grab a copy. Tell a friend. Share your thoughts.
And keep an eye out—I have plenty more nonsense up my sleeve.
Somewhere With Regret 